I’ve mentioned before that I am an awards show slut. I love awards season as it allows us to (arbitrarily) quantify the past year in all things entertainment; however, the one awards show I can’t get behind is The People’s Choice Awards. I’ve never really thought about why I despise this ceremony so much until this morning when I actually read the list of winners and figured it out – the people are stupid.
If you disagree with me, please check out the following list:
1. The “Twilight” saga won awards for Favourite Movie, Favourite Drama Movie, Favourite Actress and Favourite Screen Team. - Ok, I’m willing to let the first one go because it says “favourite” and not "best." There’s no accounting for taste, right? However, Favourite Drama Movie? No. Favourite Melodrama, maybe. Favourite Fantasy Movie, maybe. Favourite Less Entertaining Than a Harlequin Romance Novel, But Still a Shitty Knock-off of one Anyway Movie, maybe. But NOT drama.
As for Kristin Stewart winning Favourite Movie Actress, I don’t really have a problem with that except for the fact that the male version of the category is split into Favourite Male and Favourite Male Under 25. Why the distinction for one and not the other? Is it because we over-sexualize women in our society and insist on pairing young females with much older men, rendering any distinction useless?
*See the romantic pairings of: Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell in “Get Smart;” Zooey Deschanel and Will Farrell in “Elf;” and any movie Scarlett Johannson has ever made.
2. Adam Sandler wins Favourite Comedic Star and Favourite Comedy Movie for “Grown Ups.” Seriously? Adam Sandler hasn’t been funny since the late 1990s (and even that is questionable). Meanwhile, “Grown Ups” has a 5.8 rating on IMDB and a dismal 10% on Rotten Tomatoes. Again, who is voting for these awards?
3. Favourite New Television Comedy goes to “Shit My Dad Says.” I’ll admit that I haven’t watched this show since the pilot, but a friend of mine recently quoted a reporter as saying something to the effect of, “if someone took my children hostage and told me that they would kill them unless I watched the first season of "Shit My Dad Says;" I’d seriously consider letting my children die.” Yup, that about sums that up.
4. Favourite viral video star winner: “Single Ladies” Devestation, The Whittaker Family. I literally had to look this one up only to find out it wasn't Forest Whittaker’s family singing Beyonce’s infectuous hit. I was wrong, but not that disappointed. Take a look: