Going Overboard on the S.S. Minnow

So, the title of this blog is pretty obscure, unless you watched Gilligan’s Island. It has been recently reported that Warner Bros. plans to remake the kitschy 60s television series into a movie - the script has already been penned by Brad Copeland. Brad is an interesting writer; while he has written for such brilliant series as NewsRadio, Arrested Development and My Name is Earl, his latest outing brought us the atrocity known as Wild Hogs. You remember the film – the one starring Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and John Travolta as a group of middle-aged men who decide to form a biker gang. I know, I got a little sick thinking about it too.

Anyway, upon hearing this, a few red lights went off in my head. First off, big screen adaptations of TV series never work! I know some people may argue with me, but I will stop you there. Charlie’s Angels was more pre-teen masturbation fodder than actual film; the Star Trek franchise is pretty hit and miss; and the Sex and the City movie was a sham of the show.

Now, as much as I loved the original Gilligan's Island, by today’s standards, it’s pretty terrible. Also, haven’t we seen a modernization of this show already? It’s called Lost and it is awesome.

Despite my protest (does anyone even read this?), it sounds like the film is moving forward. Brad Copeland has mentioned that he would love for Michael Cera to play Gilligan. Well, since we’re playing that game, I’ll throw out nominees for my dream cast.

The Skipper – Eddie Murphy. Think about it! It’s 2010, so we’re going to need some color up in here! Eddie Murphy as The Skipper would be hilarious and given that his last three films were Meet Dave, Norbit and another Shrek installment – he obviously doesn’t give a fuck. Plus it would be hilarious to see Michael Cera try to act with him!

The Professor – I have always had a thing for The Professor. So who better to cast than George Clooney? The man can make a woman come just by looking at her. Plus, he’s smart, just like The Professor! Let the coconut radio making begin!

Mary-Ann – Alison Brie. She’s amazing on Community and Mad Men. Plus she could reunite with her castmate…

Ginger – Christina Hendricks. Look at her – she was pretty much born to play the “movie star.”

The Howells – two rich, old, white people – Hollywood is full of them.